Invitation Only

Ever since its launch on the web, Iris Gaming Network and its in-house magazine Cerise have been charged as being separatist spaces for women gamers. What Iris actually aims for is an inclusive space. However, I want to take this opportunity to discuss some of the theory behind separatism and some of the benefits that can come from it.

To take it right from Wikipedia:

Separatism in a feminist context “suggests that the political disparities between men and women cannot be readily resolved, and encourages women to direct their energies toward other women rather than men."

Meaning that trying to solve the issues between men and women that are caused by the patriarchy is futile. Women building a support group for other women is time better spent.

Karen Mudd, writing for Off Our Backs describes separatism in the eyes of Marilyn Frye as

“various sorts or modes from men and from institutions, relationships, roles and
activities which are maledefined, male-dominated and operating for the benefit
of males and the maintenance of male privilege -- this separation [is] being
initiated or maintained, at will, by women.”

Because of patriarchy, everything in our culture privileges certain traits, that of white, straight, able, upper class men. If you do not possess these norms, you are excluded or suffer in some sort of way. Creating one’s own group effectively changes the norms and privileges of the culture that you create.

Mudd also nods to Bette Tallen, a feminist political scientist, who defines the differences between

“segregation and separatism-- the former being imposed by the dominant class,
the latter being self-imposed.” Mud goes on to say, that Tallen believed,
as a supporter of separatism, that “integration and assimilation are
synonymous.”

Tallen views separatism as an active choice that fully rejects dominate social structures.

In gaming culture I’ve learned that I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. Rather, if I want to be seen or respected as a gamer and as a woman, I get in trouble, as in getting harassed. Yet, if I keep quiet, I get to internalize and ingest stacks of sexism (with heaping sides of racism and homophobia.)

However, if you split off into your own separate and safe space, the dominant group is still incensed. What’s going on here?

I see separatism as something that spits in the eye of patriarchy. There’s safety and revolution in numbers. When a group of people split off, they’re essentially saying that they’re rejecting the way things are. They want to create their own place with their own rules, because way things are isn’t working. Within this group, members are able to organize, solve issues, and work towards solidarity. They are powerful rather than powerless. Ideally, after some time, the group might decide to mingle with the dominate culture again, or they may not.

I realize that what I just wrote is all hypothetical. A separatist group can be successful or fail, like any other project. Also, while I do see the value in separatism, I think it has its limits. I want to take part in dominate culture. I want to be recognized, I want to have a say. I believe, essentially, that over time and with a lot of work, that it can change. That’s why I love the idea and work of Iris. Groups that focus on inclusiveness, like Iris, provide a safe space while working towards evolving dominant culture.

Requisite Backlash

Yesterday Kotaku linked to Cerise, and predictably, hostility in the comments section ensued. Check out these related and brilliant blog posts that discuss gaming communities and women:

Harassment, silencing, and gaming communities
On women-oriented gaming communities
Kotaku Commenters Prove the Necessity of a Women's Gaming Magazine

There are many issues I’d like to address that I found while wading through the comments. Some would be separatism vs. integration, using the word misogyny instead of sexism, internalized sexism, and the idea that feminist gamers are sexist i.e. anti-male and anti-female.

However, what I want to focus on today is the idea that women gamers shouldn’t have their own outlet (or magazine such as Cerise) because their numbers don’t equal that of men who game. The actual demographics of people of video games can reveal a lot about the current climate of the video game industry and culture. So who has the controller? Brace yourself for some stats.

Justine Cassell and Henry Jenkins wrote in their essay “Chess for Girls? Feminism and Computer Games” that in 1999, around 35 million homes in the United States owned one video game console, which is about 30-40% of American homes. In addition to this, 10-20% of homes rented consoles or shared with their neighbors. According to the Entertainment Software Association’s 2006 Sales, Demographic and Usage Data, 69% of American heads of households play computer or video games, the average game player’s age is 33, and 38% of percent of gamers are women. In fact, gamers consist more of women that are 18 years or older (30%) than that of boys who are 17 years or younger (23%), and according to Nielsen, women make up 64% of online gamers.

When we think of the typical gamer--and this includes the commenters over at Kotaku--a white, pimpled, horny teen boy is usually called to mind, yet the stats indicate that the gaming community is more diverse. The stats regarding women gamers, especially those that reveal that there are more adult women gamers than of teenage boys, challenges our stereotypical image of a gamer.

I’m sharing these stats because I want to reiterate that there are more female gamers out there than is usually acknowledged. However, even if we don’t outnumber men, it doesn’t mean our viewpoints are less valid. We’re a demographic and that’s enough. Besides, our ranks are growing. There’s a group of us that think the culture of our hobby could be better, and we aim to make our voices heard.

ETA:
More reasons for a magazine for gaming women
Zach proves why nobody doesn't like Molten Boron
"STFU and GTFO"

Depression and Art

I’ve been enjoying Planet Karen for quite awhile now and this comic was no exception:

In fact, this comic really affected me, for a lot of reasons.

I felt prompted to say something, so I clicked over to the Girl-wonder.org boards and wrote

Today's comic is heart wrenchingly beautiful. I'm going through something
similar right now. Depression is simply awful.

And Betty hit it all right on the head:

I'm really impressed that you could use that to make a comic, Karen. When I'm
like that it's usually a battle to brush my teeth. I really appreciate that you
don't flinch back from talking about mental health. I think it's a bit of a
taboo, which doesn't really help you when you're already feeling like you're
alone and isolated.

Depression is hard to discuss, and is even more difficult to capture in art. There are not enough heartfelt attempts out there, and god knows I can’t write about it. Depression is even more difficult to respond to. I was taken aback by some of the other comments in the forum that “there’s nothing beautiful about depression” (I understand the sentiment, but who was saying that it is?) and that all that depressed folks need to do is to add some omega-3 to their diets. As though, for many of us, we haven’t tried everything imaginable: drastic diet changes, yoga, St. John’s Wort, anti-depressants, therapy. I’m not saying that any of those options aren’t helpful--they are. It’s just that treating depression is a process; there’s no quick fix available. Suffering from it is hard enough, but it’s exacerbated because depression is taboo, and too often those who haven’t or aren’t dealing with it make flippant (though well meaning) comments that add insult to injury.

We need more people to unflinchingly address this issue. We need people like Karen.

Check Out Cerise #1

I've always wanted there to be a feminist gaming zine and now there is one. The first issue of Cerise is up today. The editors have done a terrific job putting it together, so make sure you take some time to check it out.

I'm also pleased to say that an article of mine is published in this issue--it appears alongside some other great pieces that look at how gender and games intersect.

Reuters Ignores Women Gamers, Plus Geek Girl Stereotype Bingo

In a piece of enlightened journalism, Reuters blames video game accessories for strained romantic relationships between men and women. The article, as is expected, thoroughly stereotypes women and their relationships with gamer guys. At least Brenda Brathwaite is featured in the second half of the article--for the sake of balance I suppose. However, it isn't enough to shake the heterosexual-infused, women-are-weary-of-video-games attitude of the article. Therefore, I've decided that this article could benefit from a treatment of tekanji's "Geek Girl" Stereotype Bingo:

Relationships mentioned as being important to women: This is the main point of the article. As the first sentence says, "enter the video game accessory as date killer".

Mentions shopping or accessories: Yep. The equivalent to video games and accessories are... shoes.

"Social" as being attractive to women: The end of the article speaks to double dates and games. Also games can "serve as a his-and-hers social elixir."

Women are seen as "casual" / non-serious users: I would argue that the description of Guitar Hero as a game that "encourages friends to duel against each other as spectators cheer them on" and therefore women enjoy it, is an attempt to make it seem casual.

Let's see, 4 out of 9 squares. I say we have a bingo.

Via Joystiq.

The Second Half of My Adventures with a Purple Prophecy

As promised, the second half of my impressions of Indigo Prophecy:

III. Game Play Issues

I feel I’m pretty close to beating the game. I got that things are wrapping up feeling from the tone of the story. With all my other work, I haven’t spent too much time with it, so I’m a little surprised. The formula is still keeping me interested, although I have to complain about the lame “action” scenes. All that they consist of is moving the analogue sticks in the right directions in the right order, a la Simon Says. At first I didn’t mind so much, but after the twentieth time I’ve done this now, it’s getting a little flat. The actions totally remove me from the experience. It feels tacked on, like the developers thought they had to have the players do something during the cut scenes. What has happened is that I can barely focus on the over the top action at all. I’m to worried about what direction the light is flashing. Though maybe it’s for the best, because the action scenes go on for way to long and the content of them just seems so out of place. Why does he need superpowers? Is that really how you validate your “movie game,” cloning the Matrix? My hopes for the game to be more mystery than action movie are fading fast. I guess I just have to wait to see how it all turns out.

IV. The Ending, Rife with Spoilers

Indigo Prophecy has easily the worst ending to a video game that I have ever played. The extent of the failure was accentuated by my enjoyment of the game up until my last post. The ending however was so terrible, it makes me question any positive feelings I have for the game. The first element of the game that fell through was the narrative. It became incohesive and introduced bizarre plot twists. The plot twists included, but were not limited to, a race of AI beings that existed on the internet that were trying to kill you. The whole superpower and sci-fi thing was getting out of hand, but by the end it overshadowed any interesting character developments that were formed previously. The end opted to focus on uncontrollable action scenes to finish out the story, instead of offering any real resolutions to the problems of the characters. The writer obviously did not go into this game with any real message, philosophy, or social plight he wanted to reveal or discuss. I wouldn’t mind this in Street Fighter, but in a game that was meant to redefine video game narratives it’s pretty sad. I just wonder why he didn’t just make a traditional action game. The fantastical elements seemed to be a gimmick, and reminded me of the reading that discussed immersion. The extent of the fantasy seemed out of place in the world that was presented through most of the game. At least, the parts that were more real world were much more interesting, so I identified with them. I felt alienated when the game shifted away from the detective story formula that I had grown attached to.

The worst part of the ending was the complete destruction of my favorite character in the game. Carla, the detective who was chasing Lucas, underwent a character shift that had no basis in what was previously understood about her character. As the world is being covered in an ice age, (which is never fully explained) she decides to sleep with the DEAD version of Lucas. Lucas died, and the AI internet people brought him back to life, but his body was still technically dead. Carla made multiple references about how cold his skin was, as if he was dead. Then she sleeps with him, and falls in love with him with no real motivation other than the fact that he is the main character of the game that I’m playing. This act does not match the character that was presented before hand. There was nothing suggesting her feelings for Lucas. Carla abandons her job and playability in the game as soon as she finds the right man to hide behind. She is demoted to nothing more than the love interest. The ending movie pushes her farther down the respectable character ladder by making her ultimate purpose in the grand scheme to give birth to Lucus’ super baby. No matter what ending you get, Carla is pregnant. This interesting, well developed character was turned into nothing more than a womb.

My Adventures With a Purple Prophecy

In order to breathe some life back into this blog, I thought I'd put up some posts that I wrote up for my Games and Culture class. Before I jump in I want to give a nod to some other blog posts out there that do a great job looking at Indigo Prophecy: Pat Miller's Indigo Prophecy Reinforces White Male Supremacy Part 1 and Part 2, and tekanji's Introduction [Gender in Indigo Prophecy Part 1] and What's in a character, anyway? [Gender in Indigo Prophecy Part 2].
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I. Beginning Impressions

Indigo Prophecy, why not? I heard interesting things about it, and thought this would be a good opportunity to get me to play it, and experience this so called “movie game.” I must say that this game is pretty full of itself. It loves the fact that it’s “different,” to the extent that the creator not only wrote an editorial in the manual explaining it’s greatness, but put himself into the game. In the tutorial, there is a polygon representation of David Cage the writer and director, explaining the controls, what you can expect, and how you will love it. I can’t think of any other examples of this kind of intrusion into the game space by the developers. It had the feeling of an AMC or Turner Classic Movie introduction, with a old white dude telling you the history and how great this movie your about to watch is. It definitely added a strange kind of validity to the game, but I still think the game is full of itself. I’ve always been of the mind that a piece of art should speak for itself. You don’t need to goad me into liking this game, I will or I won’t. And in all reality, it’s not that different from your standard point and click game on the PC, it’s been done before.

Now the content of the game is pretty original. It seems like I will be playing two sides of a murder story: from both the killer’s perspective (who is kind of innocent), and the police. I really like the set up, and love how I first had to escape the seen of the crime, and then investigate it as the cops. It’s like my loyalties are split, I have to succeed as both opposing forces. It’s really interesting, and makes me care a lot about the characters and what’s going on. I get all the perspectives of the story and then can relate to all the characters. And I just have to say how brilliant it was to start the game with, “you have to cover up your crime and escape.” It really brought the learning curve of the game into part of the experience. I was frantic to clean up the evidence and escape while trying to learn the controls. I was as panicked as the character. We both had no idea what was going on. There were multiple options and methods, and I had to decided which would best help me in the situation. It was a unique emotional experience. Then I got to examine all the actions I chose when I played as the cops. I found the clues that I left before, and question the witnesses that saw me escape. Fun!

II. Representations of Race and Gender

I want to look at how Indigo Prophecy handles representations of race and gender. Out of the three playable characters so far (in order of appearance), one is a white man named Lucas, one is a Latina female detective Carla, and third is her partner, an African American man, Tyler. This list represents the order of playing–Lucas, the white guy, started off the bunch. This fact, along with the box cover, and that the story centers around his initial act of murder, leads me to take him as the main character of the story. However, the time spent playing as him is just as equal to the other two characters. So even though the main character is a pretty typical example of what to find in video games, more time in the game is spent between the two characters of color, one of whom is a woman. The game allows you to chose which character you want to play as during a certain episode in the overall story. You have to play all three eventually, but the player is given the option to chose which view of events they want to see first. Most importantly, each character has been fully developed in their own right. I know just as much about the detectives’ lives, personalities, fears, and loves as I do Lucas. At this point, the game is very egalitarian, and achieves this with very little effort. They just write all the characters as people, and not some stereotype. My favorite part of the game so far has been the ability to walk around the character’s apartments. You really get an insight into their personalities by looking through their stuff, and how it is arranged.

This is also the location of my two snafus that I found in the gender and race department. This one’s up for debate, but Tyler’s apartment really pushed the whole “this character’s black” vibe. His walls were painted like something out of 70’s. The furniture was also all poofy and loud, with a dome chair, furry TV, and a record player. It isn’t terribly damning of the game, but it just didn’t seem to fit with his personality that much, and screamed “black man’s funky apartment” to me. I think it detracted from the great, complex character development, and that it represents the only real indication that the game gave that “this character is black,” besides his skin tone. Compare that to other games (*cough* Gears of War *cough*) that love to remind you at every opportunity possible that a character is black, and therefore must act much differently than white people, Indigo Prophecy does a pretty good for a game.

There was also an instance in which the game reminded everyone that Carla is a woman, and that, yes, women are sex objects, regardless of how good of a detective she may be. The game determined that the best way to do this was put their super cop in the shower. One of her episodes started in the shower and gave a clear view of her nipple-less breasts. Afterwards, the game awarded the male gaze with overly revealing panties and tank top–which you did get to cover up at any time by getting dressed–but regardless you got an eyeful. There were options to take showers as the other two characters, but none of their “private” areas were exposed and the resulting underwear covered much more, and was much more realistic in what those characters would wear. Why would a woman who is obsessed with her job, and has no love life wear sexy undies? Unfortunately, there was no equivalent, no brief bulge, programmed into the game. This incident was quick and the only attempt to make her sexy so far. Though, again, it stood out from a great and complex character, belittling her in a way.

Overall, this games really seems to make an effort in treating all of it’s characters with respect. Despite a few classic instances of the white and male gaze, the game so far allows the player to view life from perspectives not normally given in video games.

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Tomorrow I'll post the rest of my observations of the game. I'll mainly discuss game play and my thoughts of how the game wrapped up.

The IRIS Network Launches!

Today marks the day of the official launch of The IRIS Network:

After yet another bout of the “where are all the women gamers?” on the internet
gaming communities, The IRIS Network (TIN) was finally born. Though there are
many individual women gamers who write about their experiences, and many sites
for women who game to connect and play with each other, none of these sites are
there for the express purpose of highlighting gamers (both in the industry and
outside of it) and bringing women’s perspectives into the mainstream. Though it
may be a lofty goal, that’s exactly what we here at The IRIS Network aim to do.

Join or browse the forums, check out the directory of women game bloggers and take a peek at TIN's forthcoming online zine Cerise.

And a note to all the women gamer bloggers out there: feel free to adjust, add info on, post up a logo for your page on the directory. I plan to email everyone personally, but it might take a few days for me to be able to do so.

GRAW!

I don't own a Xbox 360, but lucky I go to a college where the library owns one for me. Between classes on Friday I discovered a hidden gem: a shiny Xbox 360 that was connected to a big screen HDTV. I decided it was time to use my well spent tuition money and booted it up. They had a large selection of two games consisting of Table Tennis and Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter. I picked Ghost Recon so that I could discuss and examine the "myth" behind the game. I also wanted to look at a phenomenon that occurs regularly in video games: the creation of a well designed and fun game, that features content that boils down to propaganda. Games that sway minds to support the war, and love the patriarchy that exploits women, the poor and the underprivileged. A game that turns war into just a game, completely overlooking war's true nature. I know that as I play this game I'm taking in these messages, but I'm having a blast.

The myth behind the war game's text is that war is an acceptable option. War is clean, swift, and only eliminates those that wish to do harm to the innocent. Specifically, the United States fights wars in this way, and that it has the right to conduct war in any country that we see fit. We bring justice to the world. This has been a part of our culture for generations. The game puts forth this idea through normal game conventions: shoot the enemy, move to the next location and shoot more, reach end of the stage, watch the cut scene congratulating you. The game hooks us in by placing itself in realistic settings that remind us of current world issues, like the war in Iraq. War games have pushed to be more and more realistic; to represent real world conflicts. The game world, however, is a world without consequences. If a team member dies you can revive them with the Y button, and of course you can retry from the nearest save point if you happen to be killed. The enemies are reduced in this game as nothing more that red diamonds which indicate their location in the game screen, and when they die the diamonds turn white. In game play terms this is useful in that it keeps the game easily accessible, but in turn, it completely dehumanizes the NPCs. And speaking of white, the only choice for the main character is a white male, who leads a squad of culturally diverse troops through the battlefield. No big deal if your African American gunner gets killed--you can just revive them, but if the white commander gets shot, it's game over. The enemies are also non-white, and the action takes place in a Mexican-influenced third world country. This defines the myth that America can do what it wants in poor countries.

To get back to a previous point, even after knowing all of this I still have fun with it. Overall, it is a well designed video game, with pretty graphics, interesting situations, and good controls. But herein lies the rub. Too often people play these good games, and get caught up in the game play, not grasping what they are saying to them. It's perfect propaganda: the player gets to have a great time, while imperialism feeds them messages of war. Why would advertisers be making games, and why would the actual army make a game, if it's not a strong form of suggestion? It's the power of simulation. Being able to act out in a simulated environment and make mistakes, to explore and hop into the role of soldier, allows a person to understand what it is like. It fills them with the mentality needed to act in the situation. If you have played a shooter on X-Box Live it is clear to see this soldier mentality in action. It's creating people that will support war. If the design of the game is to further reinforce this fairly tale notion of war, then it only serves those that benefit from war. I think it to be possible to reflect on war in a way that would leave the player not siding with it. Or to at least start a debate. A perfect example would be Shadow of the Colossus, a fun game that examines themes of violence and the exploitation of nature. Playing GRAW and other games like it reminds me of imperative it is that we be aware of the messages within our media.

Meme: Video Game Covers I Want to See

I interrupt the silence on this blog in order to bring you the question of the hour, as asked by Brand over at Yudhishthira’s Dice:

Ladies, what RPG covers (or interiors) have you seen that involve a woman in the
art that make you say, “I want to play that” or, just as good “I want to play
her.” Or that make you feel like it is a game you could like, or be included in
by a group of guys you’d never met and whose maturity you didn’t necessarily
know?

Tekanji decided that this was a great topic for a meme and I agree. The rules:

1.Copy the text of the original challenge from Yudhishthira’s Dice and give a proper link attribution.
2.Copy these rules exactly (including any links).
3.Find images of game covers (interiors are okay, too) that make you want to play the game. Any kind of game — video game, card game, tabletop RPG, etc — is fine. Post them and include a short (or long) explanation on why the image makes/made you want to play the game.
4. The original challenge is about finding out what women think about how game art is marketed and therefore it is targeted at women. I’d like to keep it that way, please.
5.You can tag as many or as few people as you want. You do not need to be tagged to participate in the meme.
6.When you make your post, please post the link on this thread so we can all see what others have said.

First on my list is the cover for the Sega CD version of Lunar: The Silver Star. This was the RPG that made a gamer out of me. While it doesn't score high as far as gender issues go in regards to the content (small town boy saves amnesia-stricken goddess) the story was engaging and addictive. What initially drew me to the cover was the striking character designs. Though the evil Magic Emperor dominates the frame of the image and literally holds the fate of Lunar in his heads, Luna--though hovering slightly behind Alex--is dead center. She has a sly smile on her face that is indicative of her role in the game. Even though she's the girl you get in the end, she isn't passive. Rather, she's capable of great power and has a knack of rallying people behind her, as she did with the other young girls who were captured. I also enjoy that I'm able to see much of the supporting cast of Lunar, for it provided anticipation as to who I was going to meet during my journey.

Next is another RPG, Xenosaga II. Though the second game of the Xenosaga trilogy may not be considered the greatest, the cover sure is. Kos-Mos dominates this cover (as she does in the first and third) yet she is not diminutive or sexualized. On the second game's cover, we are given the profile of Kos-Mos and the faces of some of the other important characters of the game. (Though, woefully, Momo is missing.) Kos-Mos is larger than life, staring blankly off into space. This speaks to her importance but also to the questions that her existence brings to mind. We know by this point that Kos-Mos is more than just a tool, but we are also wondering as to who she directly serves--Shion or someone evil?

Third is the cover of Silent Hill 3. Silent Hill 3 was my first hesitant venture into the Silent Hill universe, and it was Heather who guided me there. When I saw this cover at Gamestop I was struck by the amount of emotion that was held in her face. Namely that it seemed to ask "What the hell am I doing here?"--a feeling I've encountered more than once in my life. I felt that I could relate to the young woman on the cover, and that feeling carried me on through the game.

Next is the cartoony and cluttered cover of Dark Cloud 2. Max poses confidently with his wrench, while Monica is leaping into action, sword hoisted above her shoulder. While I'm not too fond of Monica being positioned behind Max, I'm glad that she's captured in an action shot. Monica's the warrior out of the two kids and from this cover that's obvious.

The last cover that I'm choosing to highlight is from a game I've never played: Digital Devil Saga 2. In fact, I haven't played any of the games from this series, though I desperately want to. I've seen other character designs and know that they come off as pretty androgynous, something I always like to see. On this cover, I've deduced that the character who is being framed by a funky monster is a woman. She stares out, sullen, her left hand a fist, her right arm transforming into something other-worldly. She looks tough, like someone not to be messed with, despite her short stature. She looks like a character I'd like to kick some ass with.

From these examples, it seems apparent to me that I prefer covers that relate to the plot and characteristics of the game. I often enjoy when many characters are included, for they add an element of foreshadowing. I also favor covers that convey a strong feeling, such as tension (like with Digital Devil Saga or Silent Hill 3) or mystery (Lunar and Xenosaga II). Sexualization of a character on the cover of a video game for the sake of nothing else but turning a profit will turn me away. I want covers that are thought out, striking and pertinent to the game at hand.

I tag: Brinstar, Amy, and Guilded Lily.

A Quick Note on Employment

Since my last tirade, I’ve been quiet about my unemployment because who wants to hear about annoying temp assignments, job interviews and staffing agencies when there’s Zelda to talk about?

Last week, amongst the Chicago cold and snow (god, I want spring) I landed a temp to perm job. I have no idea how long it’s going to last, or if they’ll want to hire me on for full time eventually (so many factors beyond my control) but at the very least, for some amount of time, I’ll be earning a steady paycheck. Go me.

Of course though, with this comes all the usual anxieties of starting something new. You’d think I’d be getting used to it by now. I keep on thinking to myself, “Oh god, oh god, oh god, Excel.” And of course, “Will I be utterly bored?” I’m starting the job tomorrow, so I expect that I’ll be sleeping with my fingers crossed.

Wish me luck.

A very low toned and gruff warning to all those who have not played Gears of War.

Before my rant, I just wanted to put out a reminder that the 10th Carnival of Feminist Science Fiction and Fantasy is up. Check out all the great posts at Adventures in Lame.

So recently I got to take a crack at Gears of War, courtesy of my brother's Xbox 360. The gameplay felt like a breeding between Resident Evil 4 and Halo. I enjoyed everything it took from RE 4, such as the camera, the aiming, the atmosphere, the interesting villains and AI. (Though I still like RE 4's a lot better.) The cover system was fun, and it kept me playing--though for only about 5 to 6 hours, because that's how long it took me to beat it...on Hard.

I'm really glad I didn't buy Gears of War, cause geez, it's short (and kinda easy too). There were a couple of tough parts, but it was pretty straight forward: shoot at things until the level ended. I don't understand why a 5 hour game has gotten so much attention.

Though that's not the worst part. I can deal with a short game, as long as it doesn't bombard me with images and concepts that all proclaim the glory of white men. This game does not want you to forget that these Gears carry packages. The creators took the idea of the super masculinized action hero of the 80's to such an extreme that all metal within a 10 foot radius of the T.V. has now formed a nice, manly rust. All of the characters have the proportions of a small truck, and grip mighty phallic machine guns that not only shoot hot lead, they also moonlight as a the manliest tool around: a chainsaw. CUT CUT CUT! MMMMaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr! I was shocked at the extent in which they packed every male stereotype into this game. If I didn't know any better, I would think this was a joke, or some ironic piece of pop art.

Even the uberman's feelings toward others was well represented, for what's a Gear without his female supporter giving helpful tips over the radio, far removed and safe from mucking up all this manly action? And if I remember my American History X correctly, who could deny the convenience of the curb stomp? Why, a busy Gear can proclaim his love for hate crimes in one press of a button!

Rounding out this package of privilege is the Gear's always-entertaining black sidekick for comic relief. A man who not only has to be saved at first, but his name is 'trane--short for Coltrane.

Writer: "How should I name my token black character? What's a good 'black' name? Well...jazz musicians are are black, and they have names! Now let's think of the two jazz players I know..." (flips coin between Armstrong and Coltrane)

But apparently this character wasn't screaming black stereotype enough. The writer really wanted to flesh out his creation, so why not give 'trane a past career?

Writer: "How do black people make money? Oh yeah, they play football."

A professional football player. Sounds like the perfect combination of a shallow black character to me. All the writer had to do to capture his subtleties is to make 'trane smack talk the ground aliens with puns based off of his name. For instance: "Get off the tracks, cause the 'trane's coming through!" I must say, great writing for this post-racist society we live in.

Let's all celebrate this groundbreaking achievement in video games.

The Better to Arouse You With, My Dear

My gaming history is somewhat cliche for my age range. For instance, the first RPG that I ever played was Final Fantasy VII, and I feel it responsible for my sad and painful blossoming into a gamer. Like many people, I've always held a shining, warm spot in my heart for the franchise.

My dedication to FF VIII was legendary within my circle of three friends, and I never felt closer to my brother than the summer of FF Tactics. But I can't bring myself to play FF XII. There is a giant racist roadblock preventing me from the "best game of the franchise." I would really like to meet the person who thought, "oh, lets make the first and only black female character this series has ever had into a sexy bunny."

I mean, come on. Nobody thought this image was in any way offensive? Despite the long tradition of showing the black community as nothing more than animals? And then to sexualize her on top of that! "Hi, I'm Fran. Please do me. I'm just an animal, so it's ok." If there were any other non-human characters, or if there was ther black human characters in the party it wouldn't be as bad. But the only image this game portrays of the black community is a dehumanizing one.

I understand that the subject of race in a Japanese-made game is a complicated subject. Japan is one of the most homogeneous countries in the world, so I am weary to scream foul when a game is made with only pseudo-Japanese characters in it--by which I mean that sometimes it's difficult to tell the race of a character that is drawn in an anime style. However, gaming has reached a global level, and triple A titles like the Final Fantasy series reach all over the world. I feel it is important for these companies to realize that a wide range of people play games, and it would be nice to see some healthy representation of that. At the very least, if you are going to diversify your supporting cast, don't fall back on centuries-old racist stereotypes.

Link, a Tool?

Around halfway through The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, something struck me. Through the plot structure and objectives of the game, it seems to me that Link largely acts as an instrument for female characters.

Besides Twilight Princess, I’m not too familiar with Zelda--I’ve only dabbled in the original, so I don’t know if this is something that has popped up before. I do know though that the premise of the original game stuck to the tried-and-true formula of save the princess. In later installments, that formula has evolved, and that seems to be true for Twilight Princess as well. This shift in plot has made the traditional hero that was Link into a sort of beast of burden for goddesses and princesses.

In Twilight Princess we have Midna, who rides Link’s back and has him hunting for fused shadows. Princess Zelda is relying on Link to free her kingdom from the confines of darkness, and the goddesses chose Link to save the world. Not to mention, there’s the Zora’s queen, the bar keeper, and that monkey with the pink bow. This is not to say that Link’s not helping out plenty of men too, but the majority Link’s services are for women. I say that’s because the women of Hyrule hold a lot of power and influence.

I should mention, too, that this is helped by the fact that Link doesn’t seem to have a personality. He just does what he’s told. We get to see his facial expressions, sure, but other than that he doesn’t utter one word, sigh or complaint.

For all intents and purposes, Link is a tool. He’s not just the medium for the gamer; he’s the trusty workhorse for the rest of the major and supporting characters.

Temporary

I apologize that I've been straying away from what I initially envisioned that I'd be writing about on this blog, but I've been completely over taken by instances that are making the enjoyment that I take from comics, video games, and anime miniscule.

One of the big things in my life right now is that I'm unemployed. Like all who are unemployed and desperate for a paycheck are apt to do, I joined up with a temp agency. I took my tests, sweating and nauseous, I’ve taken my holiday and birthday checks and spent them on corporate wear from Goodwill. I’ve been practicing the application of eye shadow. I try speaking loudly and with confidence. I’ve mastered the trick of faking enthusiasm toward something that makes me burrow my head into my pillow at night and sob.

I told my temp agency that I’d be interested in working for non-profits, but they insist on sticking me in a corporate setting. I can’t shrug off my awkwardness.

I understand that I’m probably sound whiney and immature—that I’m being melodramatic in a situation that I can’t avoid. That I’m sounding over privileged. After all, I was able to attend and finish college when my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents weren’t able to.

I’m trying to suck it up, but it gets difficult with each $10-an-hour. I’m flat out bored and frustrated. I’m furious that I’m thousands of dollars into debt, yet the only job with benefits that I could only hope to qualify for is to be a receptionist or secretary.

Yesterday was a sunny day because I had a job interview with a community college, in foreign language studies and ESL department. It was dingy and messy. Student projects were taped up to the walls. The woman who interviewed me had a soft and soothing voice. It was only until halfway through the interview did I realize she was the department chair. And I have to wait until next Friday to see if I got the job.

Until then it’s the temp jobs. The nine-hour days with the hour lunch break where I hide the feminist book I’m reading. Where I try to sneak breaks on the company’s internet only to mess up when answering the phone a minute later. Each and every company’s name is a last name and I can’t keep any of them straight.

Hello, It's Me

I'm feeling pretty good today, so I thought that I'd take advantage of my good mood and write up a post.

First things first, I'd like to point out a new blog that I've added to my sidebar. Fandrogyny features insightful feminist critiques of anime by Madeline Ashby. Good reads, plus I plan on seeking out all of her reviews so that I can keep caught up on the latest anime that I've been missing out on since I've cancelled my subscription to NewType USA.

I'm not going to making any of my own feminist critiques tonight, but I'm going to answer Lake Desire's tag and tell you all five things that you probably don't know about me. (Yes, the meme that has graced a thousand blogs.)

1. I know all the words to the opening song of Pokemon: Battle Frontier.

And I'm not afriad to admit it. I just started watching Pokemon about six months ago, and I'm now close to knowing the words for all the seasons' opening songs. Pokemon is too cute; it always gives me a lift when I'm in a bad mood.

2. My cat, Casey, is named after K-Ci from K-Ci and JoJo.

I didn't do it--blame my brother. I pretend she was named after the Casey from "Casey at the Bat."

3. I really enjoy it when games have milk in them.

Is it because I'm from Wisconsin? Or because I'm lactose intolerant? I love it when milk is a item (preferably, it heals). For whatever reason it makes me giddy. See: Dragon Quest VIII and Zelda: Twilight Princess.

4. I have a crush on both Buffy and Angel.

And when they kiss, it's perfect.

5. When I was little, I would pretend to conduct symphony orchestras.

One time my dad caught me, and I almost died from embarassment. That is, until he told me that he used to do it too. After seeing screenshots of that Wii conducting game, I have a feeling that my dad and I are far from alone.

Now that everyone knows how weird I am, I promise that soon I'll write up some posts that have a little meat to them.

Oh yeah, I meme-tag: Amy Reads (at her new blog address), Dan Jacobson, Madeline and Mickle.

Regrouping

As if you couldn't tell, I'll be taking an extended break from blogging, due to unreliable access to the internet and the fact that my personal life is extremely hectic and overwhelming. When I get back, hopefully not too long from now, I plan to write some thoughts on Trauma Center and the first two seasons of Veronica Mars.

Happy New Year!

Harassment Fiasco

I'm in the home stretch, just a couple of days away from graduating. That said, my job at the college will be finished this week as well. I feel conflicted about this: I'm losing my steady paycheck and I'll be leaving behind some great coworkers. However, I feel good about leaving: perhaps my job search will yield a job with better pay (though it should be easy to beat the pay of a student worker) and because I'll be leaving the place where I was sexually harassed.

Like anyone, there's a few things in my life that are hard for me to admit, and most of them seem to stem in some way from sex. Two of the biggies are admitting that I was in an abusive relationship, the other is that I was harassed at work.

I'm willing to write about this because my job ends Friday, but I've been inspired by this post about sexual harassment over at Occasional Superheroine. An excerpt:

I feel the person who has gone through this or other traumas definitely has the right to tell her (or his) story -- that it's part of the healing process and provides people going through similar situations with perspective & hope. Further, I think the topic of sexual harassment itself should be debated and examined thoroughly on message boards and forums everywhere.

But one thing that gets lost in the internet debate and gossip is just how goddamn sad sexual harassment situations are for everybody involved. They're fucking sad. There are no winners and losers. Everybody is a loser. Feelings on both sides are filled with agony and resentment and hurt. You have one side saying "nothing happened and you're liar" and the other side saying "I'm really really hurt" and it's like Iraq, there's no immediate clean way to resolve it. And then you have people caught in the middle who are pressured to take sides and it's shitty for them too.

My situation was (unsurprisingly) tortuous. Because my job is the same as where I attend school (I work in the department of my major) I had no way to get away from him. And, like a lot of harassment stories, my situation was not cut and dry. It's not like he touched me--it had more to do with comments he said under his breath or how he would come stand by me, his body almost touching mine. It was the manner in which he looked at me, and how I would see him staring at me while I was having lunch with my partner. It was long and drawn out and I didn't know how to tell him how he made me feel. I couldn't find the voice to tell him to stop. Eventually, I found the courage to go to my boss and make a report. What resulted was an awkward bureaucratic hell that consisted of embarrassing interviews and meetings that were full of difficult decisions. In the end I was told that I'd have to meet with him, along with Human Resources and the department chair for a mediation if I wanted to make a proper complaint. I couldn't go through with it--I was too terrified.

I regret it. Because I failed to commit to the mediation, my complaint was never officially filed. It was as if my tentative steps to make him stop never happened. My boss took care to not schedule my hours when he was working, which did help. However, I still saw him in the hallway or around campus. The lack of closure isn't what I necessarily regret. What has made the situation worse is that once he did stop harassing me, he went after a co-worker, a good friend, of mine. I make him sound cruel and calculating, but I honestly think that he didn't know that he was doing anything wrong. My co-worker, knowing what I had gone through with him, filed a complaint immediately. I admire the hell out of her. She went to meeting after meeting and never backed down, even though the chair of the department expressed to her his opinion that she was making a big deal out of nothing. The kicker in the end was that the professor was only given a warning after her formal complaint went through. I found out from my boss that he would have received a harsher punishment if I had went through with my complaint.

This semester I haven't had to deal with the professor because he's on sick leave for cancer. I think it's unfortunate that he has to struggle though an awful disease, but I'm relieved that I haven't had to work with him now or ever again. For all of my relief, I still feel unresolved about the situation and I still feel ashamed--as though I'm making a big deal out of nothing--whenever I talk about. I do hope that if I ever find myself in a similar predicament, I'll be quicker to stand up for myself.

It's hard for me to look at sexual harassment rationally since I still feel hurt. But I do think this: if my work wasn't so entrenched in hierarchies, maybe it wouldn't have happened. I know it surely wouldn't have happened if the professor would see women as people rather than sex objects.

Freaking Out

By Friday this week it'll all be done, finished, the end, kaput. I'll be a graduating undergraduate, prepared and ready to face the cold, cruel world with a dashing hat and a collar pulled up around my cheeks.

Except I'm all anxious: anticipating unemployment, uncomfortable job interviews, and tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt. And even before that, I have four tests to take and ten page paper on Louis Zukofsky's objectivism to complete.

Yuck.

Some Mii Suggestions

I've been able to spend a few weeks lovingly and obsessively creating Miis that represent me, my family and Robotech characters. It's a blast, but I have a few suggestions:

1) Picking a gender for your Mii shouldn't be mandatory. I understand why its there-- we're always asked what our gender is, from surveys to signing up for MSN Messenger. The Mii Channel uses it so that when a gender is chosen the haircuts that show up first correspond with whatever gender you chose. But what if you want to create an androgynous Mii (which is surprisingly easy to do) and you don't want to identify the Mii as male or female? It's unnecessary.

2) Haircuts should be organized by length instead of gender. Other categories, such as lips and eyes aren’t separated, so why is hair length? There aren't any restrictions in regards to choosing a feminine haircut for a male Mii anyway (which is awesome), so the distinction seems arbitrary. Having the hairstyles grouped by length would make customizing easier.

3) There should be more control over body type. I keep on running into this problem—I wanted to give the Mii that's supposed to look like me some hips, but I couldn't. Similarly, when I was trying to make an animorphic representation of my overweight cat, I couldn't make him look fat enough. Rats.

4) Untraditional hair colors need to be included. I know I'm not the only one out there who likes pink hair. And what about making a Mii that looks like Max Sterling? Only blue will do. Actually, a whole color wheel or spectrum should be included so that there are more hues for skin color and more choices for the color of clothing.

I'm thinking that a lot these issues could be remedied by an update. So what do you say, Nintendo?